We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
