I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
