My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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