Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
