it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
