Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
