He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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