Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
