Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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