So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize