i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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