He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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