I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
