So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
