My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
too bad you live with your parents still
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
