So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
