he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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