i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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