I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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