I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
