She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
