Are we in a gay sports bar?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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