You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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