BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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