Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
