Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dick very happy bro
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
