The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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