what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
