Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
