I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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