Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
