If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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