Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
