I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
