First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
