ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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