my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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