What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
