My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
