You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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