I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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