My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
