So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
