So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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