My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How external is "for external use only"?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
