Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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