Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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