So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
