So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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