DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just sucked dick on a ferry
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
