so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
