I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
