i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
