So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
