so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
