and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
