I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Randomize
