Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
