My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
