Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
