I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
