I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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