If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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