This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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