my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
